Thursday, November 5, 2015

Figuring out Finnish men

A foreign female friend asked me to write about Finnish men. Being married to an American, I'm clearly not an expert on this topic, but yes, I know what she's talking about. The problem seems to be that it is hard to figure out whether certain Finnish men just want to hang out as friends, or be your serious partner in life. I'd say that it is all about avoiding conflicts, so Finnish men (unless they are the clingy type) don't usually bring up the topic themselves. In general, Finnish men are quite low maintenance, but it also means that you cannot expect great romantic gestures from them, either.

Anyway, to freak out your potential Finnish boyfriend, you could see what happens if you ask these questions:

Oh, here's a related post about dating Finns. Feel free to share your valuable experiences!


  1. A Finnish man can be quite a tricky puzzle for an American to figure out, but they can be worth it. If you're the sort of woman who wants expensive gifts and flowers and to be treated to dinner, then American guys are for you. But if you want someone who will be quiet when you're trying to read the morning paper (especially if it's in Finnish and you only understand half the words), who is reliable and trustworthy, and who respects a woman's independence, then a Finn might be a better choice!

    That said, figuring out whether something is a date or not is certainly much easier with an American . . .

  2. I've been lucky enough to find and be married to a Finnish man who's reliable, trustworthy and loving. However, I'm loathe to paint those as particularly Finnish characteristics because I know many Finnish and foreign women who've ended up with unreliable, untrustworthy, alcoholic and controlling Finnish men. The divorce rate here is just as high as in the US and "cheating" is a big part of it. Our annual Christmas party at work (which spouses aren't invited to) always heralds the start of many an office romance between married/in a relationship colleagues. I'm not trying to paint a bad picture of Finnish men (because many are decent) but just want to reiterate that you've got to be just as careful choosing a mate here as you would in your home country. Don't ignore red flags because you've heard that "all Finnish men are trustworthy etc". You may be in for a nasty surprise.

  3. Entäs suomalainen nainen? Millaisiin ongelmiin sen kanssa seurustelemisessa kannattaa valmistautua näin etukäteen? Onko sellaisia vastaavanlaisia "no-no" kysymyksiä jotka kannattaa olla kysymättä ettei suomalainen nainen lähde pelästyksissään juoksemaan pakoon? :)

    1. Hyvä kysymys! Perhaps someone who has been dating Finnish women could answer that question. :)