Dating Finnish men

The last time I dated Finnish men was in 2003, and obviously that didn't go so well as I'm now married to an American. However, the phrase dating Finnish men seems to be a popular search keyword through which people find my blog, so I felt that I should write something about it. (Update: I forgot that I already have a post called Figuring out Finnish men.)

First of all, to become friends with Finnish men, you could check out my post How to make friends in Finnish.

Once you think that you might be dating a Finnish man, you want to be sure of the status of the relationship. You could try these questions and phrases to figure it out:

Oletko sä muuten käynyt treffeillä muiden kanssa? - By the way, have you gone on dates with other people?

Ollaanko me yhdessä vai vain kavereita? - Are we together or just friends?

Haluaisitko sä tavata mun vanhemmat? - Would you like to meet my parents?

Mä ajattelin vaihtaa Facebook-statukseksi "on parisuhteessa". - I was thinking about changing my Facebook status into "is in a relationship".

If you are used to men opening doors, carrying the bags, helping you to put your jacket on, and paying all the bills, you might feel a bit confused with Finnish men who don't do that, because it's not so common in Finland. If you are annoyed with the situation, just say it aloud and hope that he will get the hint.

Oletko huomannut, että Alex avaa aina oven Marialle? - Have you notices that Alex always opens the door for Maria?

Olisi kiva, jos sinäkin tekisit niin. - It would be nice if you did so, too.

Vaikka et tee sitä Suomessa, voisitko kuitenkin kantaa mun laukkuja, kun me ollaan _________ssa? - Even if you don't carry my bags in Finland, could you do that when we are in ___? (Some of my students have funny stories about their mothers complaining about their Finnish husband's behaviour.)

I asked my Facebook page followers to share their experience, and this is what I got so far. Please leave a comment if you want to share your experiences. Vielä parempi, jos olet suomalainen mies! :)

Do not expect fancy gifts, but more practical things, like thermal underwear.

Don't wait for a Finnish guy to say he loves you, and don't dare say it to him, as he will not know how to respond.

Expect honesty. Meaning that if he doesn't like your haircut or your new dress, he will tell you.

Long stretches of silence are the norm. If you act like an American and try to fill every second with chatter, he will likely get annoyed.

Jääkarrhu = a polar bear (Only in a zoo in Finland.)

Useful posts:

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About the author of this blog:

My name is Hanna Männikkölahti, and I am a native Finn who gives private lessons via Skype and simplifies books into easy Finnish. Please leave a comment, if you have something to ask about Finnish or novels in easy Finnish.